the insidious and frequent message that we are obligated to create some kind of magical childhood for our children full of spectacular or extravagant experiences.I'd say another pressure of modern day parenthood is the over-abundance of information that is related to or weighs in on parenting. This includes brain studies and other scientific information about child development, opinion pieces about parenting methods and styles, mommy blogs, and the so-called "long-form think piece about parenting." A humorous piece in The New Yorker "New Parenting Study Released" mocked the long-form think piece brilliantly. It's pretty hilarious, and you should read it! It does have some swear words, so be warned if that bothers you.
I am a reader, and when I'm experiencing or trying to understand something new - I'm naturally drawn to reading about it. But I burned myself out on parenting books when my kids were little. I learned pretty quickly that much of the advice was either unrealistic or didn't resonate with me. A perfect example are those books that suggest all sorts of charts and graphs and rewards for managing toddler behavior. First - that's just a crazy amount of work for which you'd need to hire household help. Second - I want to enjoy my toddler, not manage him. Third - the toddler is not buying it!
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Hold On To Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers
by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate, MD
This book is countercultural in that it advocates for the bonds of family over peer popularity. I think particularly in an age when parents tend to be a little over-focused on their children's social lives, this book offers a different and compelling perspective. You can read more about this book on Gordon Neufeld's website.
Out of Control: Why Disciplining Your Child Doesn't Work and What Will
by Dr. Shefali Tsabary
I feel that the title of this book is somewhat unfortunate, but I whole-heartedly agree with Dr. Tsabary's idea that focusing on connecting with our children will improve relationships (and behavior) more effectively than focusing on discipline. You can read more on Dr. Tsabary's website.
Project-Based Homeschooling: Mentoring Self-Directed Learners
by Lori Pickert
Don't let the word "homeschooling" let you think this one's not for you. I would recommend this book for all parents. The concept of project-based learning has been transformational for me in how I approach parenting with all of my children, whether they attend a bricks and mortar school or are homeschooled. Learn more about this book on the Project-Based Homeschooling website.
Lastly, I want to mention the work of nationally-renowned author Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg. I had the opportunity to attend one of Dr. Ginsburg's presentations last year. He is a dynamic speaker whose message about resilience and balance is so important. Later, I read his book Building Resilience in Children and Teens, which I would recommend as a great resource for parents and teachers. Dr. Ginsburg's new book, which I haven't read, is Raising Kids to Thrive. For my local Milwaukee-area readers, there are two upcoming opportunities to hear Dr. Ginsburg. Both presentations are free and open to the public. Here are the details:
Monday, October 5 at 7:00pm at Nicolet High School Auditorium
Dr. Ken Ginsburg will speak on how to raise resilient children and prioritizing balance in a "do all" culture. His message will be directed primarily to parents and educators of primary school students.
Tuesday, October 6 at 7:00pm at Divine Savior Holy Angels High School
Dr. Ken Ginsburg will be addressing parents and educators of secondary school students on building resiliency in teens.
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