Seriously!? Sometimes not.

When I was a fifth grade teacher, many years ago, I fell flat on my butt in front of my students.  I had been sitting at my desk, and when I got up to move to the front of the classroom - I slid on some loose papers piled next to the desk and fell.  It was a classic slip-on-the-banana-peel scenario.  While I encouraged creativity and fun in the classroom, I also prided myself on classroom management and order.  As such, I was the benevolent but undisputed leader of our community of learners.  So when I crashed to the floor that day, all twenty-eight of those tween faces looked at me expectantly for a cue.  Recovering from the shock of the fall, I smiled, "I'm okay - you can laugh."  And with a collective sigh of relief, they burst into laughter.  I laughed at myself too.   

I love to remember that story.  It reminds me of a situation when I made a split-second decision to not take myself too seriously.  Because often I do take myself way too seriously and over-think things.  I know that this type of thinking limits me and was reminded of that recently.  I've been listening to Magic Lessons with Elizabeth Gilbert, a podcast series inspired by her book Big Magic.  In Episode #5 "Access Your Joy," Gilbert talks to a songwriter who is creatively stuck.  The songwriter is understandably grieving the death of her sister and finding it hard to return to her work.   The conversation comes around to the idea that the songwriter takes her work too seriously.  Gilbert says, "I think it's possible that you might have a little bit too much respect for music."  She adds that the songwriter might belong to a "category of people who cannot make art very freely because they have too much reverence for it." 

Maybe I'm in that category of people.  Maybe I have a little much too respect for writing.  As an avid reader, I've been inspired, moved, transported, entertained and informed by the written word in so many forms.  So I imagine the readers of my own words.  And I imagine that everything that I share or publish on my blog should be...finished or polished or important or unique or special.  I worry that someone will read what I write and say, "so what?" 

But so what if they say "so what?"  And when it comes down to it, I'm the one imposing the big expectations on myself by taking myself too seriously.  That doesn't mean I don't want to practice, critique, edit, learn from mistakes and improve.  But none of that will occur if I take things too seriously to begin and continue.  If we take ourselves too seriously - in our work, in our communities, in our relationships - we may prevent ourselves from moving forward.  When we take ourselves too seriously, we may prevent ourselves from connecting with others, like I did with my students when we laughed together all those years ago.

We have to be willing to fall. 
To slip on the banana peel. 
To get up again. 
To move forward.   
And sometimes to laugh at ourselves along the way.

Gratitude

 

The photo above showed up in my Facebook feed yesterday as a memory from when I posted it three years ago.  It's a quote I had written and doodled around in one of my journals.  What was I thinking about three years ago when I chose that particular quote to illuminate with such exuberant details? When I saw it yesterday, I thought...yes, joy is a form of gratitude.  And also...when we express and feel gratitude, we experience more joy.  It works both ways.  A good reminder.

 

After hearing and reading repeatedly that a habit or practice of gratitude can improve one's outlook and well-being, I started keeping a journal for that specific purpose about four years ago.  I've written in various gratitude journals on and off since then.  I also try to be deliberate about expressing gratitude verbally, in notes and emails, in my writing.  Most of us have a lot to be grateful for, and it's good to remember that.

 

from "daddy" to "downtown abbey" - things she was grateful for over the years

 

I'm grateful for the ABC gratitude books my children made when they were younger.  I had them write a letter of the alphabet on each two-page spread.  I made one too, and we wrote in them on and off for several years.  It's fun to look back at the things they were grateful for at various ages and to see how their handwriting progressed too.  My daughter was only five years old when we started doing this, and she wrote very prominently on her "B" page in large letters "BUSCETY."  This is how she pronounced and wrote "spaghetti" back then.  My older son was in his tween to teen years at the time and was grateful for lots of different kinds of cars among other things.  My younger son was grateful for everything from dinosaurs to Nintendo to George Washington.  All three of them included favorite foods and animals.  They also all have "Mom" on their "M" pages and "Dad" on their "D" pages (of course) as well as grandparents, cousins, friends, coaches, teachers and other people.  I cherish these little scrapbooks of that period of time in my children's lives.  I also believe that making the books helped them develop an attitude of gratitude that will stay with them.

 

grateful for "buscety" - otherwise known as "spaghetti"

 

Certainly we all have tough times, hardships and challenges in our lives.  But if we deliberately recognize the goodness and blessings through gratitude, it makes life a lot more joyful. 

What are you grateful for this moment, this day, this week?

*****

An acrostic poem I wrote in one of my gratitude journals:

 

Giving thanks

Remembering blessings

Appreciating special moments

Thanking God

Inspiring myself

Trusting in goodness & love

Understanding others

Delighting in every day

Expecting joy