Countdown to NaNoWriMo & some good "writing" reads

Now that we are halfway through October, it's time to think about November.  And you know what that means?  No, not turkey!  It means novel-writing.  Last November, for the first time, I participated in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo).  My daughter, then ten years old, also participated in the Young Writers Program of NaNoWriMo. 

According to its website:

National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to creative writing. On November 1, participants begin working towards the goal of writing a 50,000-word novel by 11:59 PM on November 30.

Valuing enthusiasm, determination, and a deadline, NaNoWriMo is for anyone who has ever thought fleetingly about writing a novel.

NaNoWriMo started in 1999 with twenty-one participants.  In 2013, its fifteenth year:  310,000 adult novelists and 89,500 young writers participated.  Young writers ages 17 and under set their own word goals.  Quite a few past NaNoWriMo participants have eventually published the novels they drafted during the event.

When I decided to do NaNoWriMo last year, I knew I wouldn't come up with anything remotely publishable.  And I didn't.  It was all about challenging myself in a new way as a writer.  Writing a 50,000 word novel seemed a big goal.  I didn't think about it too much, fortunately, or I might have backed out.  Dividing 50,000 words by thirty days comes out to an average of 1,666.67 words per day.  I tried to stay on track by writing about 1,700 words per day.  Some days I didn't write at all; other days, I wrote more than double that amount.  I honestly didn't have a clear idea of my novel's plot, except that it would be realistic, contemporary fiction.  Although I enjoy reading fantasy and historical fiction, I didn't have any ambition to create a fantasy world or research a particular historical era.

Let's just say my first novel ended up being highly autobiographical.  It's not actually about me, but the plot and characters overlap in many ways with experiences I have had.  I just read my novel for the first time last week - almost a year later!  It's not as bad as I thought.  Sure, it's not exactly a cohesive and flowing novel.  It's more a series of somewhat-related short stories and essays about the same characters.  There's some good storytelling and some interesting characters.  NaNoWriMo gives a pretty loose description of what constitutes a novel for the purposes of the contest, and that allows for a lot creative license:

We define a novel as “a lengthy work of fiction.” Beyond that, we let you decide whether what you’re writing falls under the heading of “novel.” In short: If you believe you’re writing a novel, we believe you’re writing a novel, too.

Participating in NaNoWriMo last year was a fun and fulfilling experience.  My daughter and I both felt really accomplished to have completed the challenge.  We encouraged and motivated each other to finish, and we're both doing it again this year.  By the way, there is a whole NaNoWriMo community - both online and local groups that meet in person - if participants are looking for support or camaraderie.  Throughout the month, participants also receive pep talks from a variety of published writers.  To gear up for NaNoWriMo, I've been rereading those and reading other good stuff about writing. 

This week, I read the Get Serious About Writing blog series by Lisa Rivero.  I heard Rivero speak a couple of years ago, when she talked to a homeschool group about her children's historical novel Oscar's Gift, which I read with my children and highly recommend.  The short posts in her writing series are thought-provoking and motivating.  I especially love No More Excuses: Jane Austen's Writing Table.  First of all - Jane Austen!  I hope to visit Jane Austen's home and museum someday as Rivero did.  Secondly, this post provides a good dose of perspective.  I've written before about my procrastination when it comes to blogging and writing.  Seeing Jane Austen's tiny writing table where she wrote her famous novels is a good reminder to get over my excuses and just write.  Another blog I found recently is Warrior Writers by author Kristen Lamb.  I've been reading her current posts and trying to catch up on back posts too.  There's lots of good stuff there.  And she's funny!  Some of her recent posts deal with NaNoWriMo and have given me a lot to think about.  

***** 

If you've ever thought of trying your hand at novel-writing or participating in NaNoWriMo, I encourage you to give it a try!  Or, if your aspirations reside elsewhere, see if you can find or create your own challenge to help you work toward your goals.

     

September reading notes - in which I ramble about: reading & stress relief; guilty (or not) pleasures & series marathons; and letting children read what they want

In my August reading notes, I wrote that about the "heaviness" of my various selections that month.  In September, my reading was less heavy and more escapist.  I finished reading the Divergent series by Veronica Roth.  This is a series of three young adult novels in the now-popular dystopian fiction genre.  The first book was exciting and compulsively readable, but as I predicted it went somewhat downhill from there.  My daughter read the books at about the same time, and we both thought the second book was okay and the third book was a bit disappointing.  I also read two more books from the Murdoch mysteries series by Maureen Jennings.  The fourth book, Let Loose the Dogs, is my favorite in that series so far.  Mixed in with those books, I reread Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.  Here's the official list:

Divergent by Veronica Roth
Insurgent by Veronica Roth
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
Poor Tom is Cold (Murdoch Mysteries #3) by Maureen Jennings
Let Loose the Dogs (Murdoch Mysteries #4) by Maureen Jennings
Allegiant by Veronica Roth

My varied reading habits had me thinking about the different reasons for which we read.  Recently, I've spotted various Facebook posts about the stress-relieving benefits of reading.  I've always known that reading helped me with my own stress.  The claims of reading as a stress-reliever seem to be mostly attributed to a research study done at the University of Sussex.  In an article in The Telegraph, researcher and cognitive neuropsychologist Dr. David Lewis explains that he found reading was a more effective stress-reliever when compared with a variety of relaxation methods.  In the article, Dr. Lewis is quoted as saying:

It really doesn't matter what book you read, by losing yourself in a thoroughly engrossing book you can escape from the worries and stresses of the everyday world and spend a while exploring the domain of the author's imagination.

This is more than merely a distraction but an active engaging of the imagination as the words on the printed page stimulate your creativity and cause you to enter what is essentially an altered state of consciousness.

So then:

It makes sense to me.  It also got me thinking about the idea of guilty pleasures.  I remember reading an article not long ago that said - essentially - there's really no such thing as guilty pleasures when applied to our tastes in reading, music, theater and other forms of creative expression.  I couldn't locate the article itself, but the author's point was: if you enjoy a particular genre, embrace it and don't feel guilty.  Author Austin Kleon also writes about this in his book Show Your Work.  The excerpt from his book, No More Guilty Pleasures, is posted on his blog.  He makes several good points, including:

When you find things you genuinely enjoy, don’t let anyone else make you feel bad about it. Don’t feel guilty about the pleasure you take in the things you enjoy. Celebrate them.

Being open and honest about what you like is the best way to connect with people who like those things, too.    

I was reminded of this when a friend joked on Facebook about her forays into historical chick lit as her own addiction, akin to alcohol, drugs or gambling.  I'm a fan of historical chick lit myself.  I even admit to an affection for regency romance mysteries, namely The Pink Carnation Series by Lauren Willig.  Actually, I count as a pleasure (guilty or not), any series in which I can immerse myself.  Many of us have jumped on the bandwagon to read popular children's or young adult series.  I will admit that I once (maybe twice?) pre-ordered and had a newly-released Harry Potter book sent to a cottage in the north woods of Wisconsin, so that I would not have to wait until after vacation to read it.  Talk about an addiction!  But I've gotten caught up in all sorts of series.  Once I zipped through the twenty books in the Aubrey-Maturin series of nautical historical novels by Patrick O'Brian in the space of several months.  A couple of years ago, I read through the twenty or so novels in The Cadfael Chronicles, a series of historical murder mysteries by Ellis Peters.  My obsessions tend to run toward to genres that contain historical elements. 

We read for all different purposes.  When I choose to delve into a series, I may be looking more toward entertainment and escape.  When I choose a so-called classic or literary fiction, I may be looking more to challenge myself.  And yet in both cases, there is a ton of crossover.  A compelling and entertaining series of historical fiction, like the Aubrey-Maturin series, challenged me to learn a lot about the history of the British Royal Navy and the Napoleonic Wars.  And of course, a book that is considered literary fiction or a classic can be as entertaining and addicting as a bestseller.  This will all depend on the individual reader's tastes and inclinations as well.

What I discourage is the idea that we only read one type of book or another.  I really believe that when this idea is imposed upon people or somehow accepted subconsciously, it may cause them to dislike reading.  I wrote about this a bit in one of my articles for Home Education Magazine.  In that article, I mentioned how some educational philosophies or theories maintain that children should be required to only read "quality" children's literature and be steered away from things like graphic novels and popular series books.  With my own children, I have seen no evidence that it's one or the other.  It doesn't have to be "either/or" - it can be "both/and."  If, as an adult, I read different genres and for different purposes, why would I not respect my children's ability to do the same?   

And so, everyone, go forth and read!

Ideally, I'll have both my coffee and a book!

Life is sweet

Lately I've been feeling overwhelmed.  It's been a big transition having my two sons in high school this year.  They both have SO much going on with copious amounts of schoolwork, sports and other activities, volunteer and church commitments, and very full social lives.  We always seem to be running, running, running.  And I always seem to be worrying, worrying, worrying.  It's all relative, of course.  I have three children.  My own parents had seven.  I met a man last weekend who grew up in a family of seventeen children.  Seventeen children, people!  Can you imagine?  I can't - it's inconceivable.  Yes, my busyness and my anxiety are relative.  But that doesn't mean they aren't real.  The way I feel is real.  Every generation has their own challenges.  Every individual has their own darkness and light.  It doesn't help to discount any person's feelings or struggles.  However, it is true that my problems are very much first world problems.  For me, personally, gratitude and perspective are the tools that help me deal with my worries.  I'm pretty sure most of us need doses of intentional gratitude and perspective from time to time.  This morning, it was some pink-frosted chocolate cupcakes that jolted me with perspective and gratitude.  Because the more I thought about those pretty little cupcakes, the more I thought about all the beauty and goodness in my life. 

I thought about an e-mail that arrived this morning from a friend who noticed that I have talked about being overwhelmed lately and wondered if there was anything she could do to help.  Then I thought about how another friend noticed that my running shoes had holes in them.  She gave me the gift of store vouchers and cash, which enabled me to buy a new pair of shoes.  Another friend magically always finds me exactly the things I need -  an outfit for a special event, a winter jacket for my daughter, and much more than I can say here.  Yesterday, I sat at the park with two other beautiful friends.  We shared our joys and challenges.  We listened to each other, we heard each other.  This morning I noticed a chocolate bar in the cabinet.  My husband often buys me a bar of European chocolate and sneaks it into the cabinet when he wants to cheer me.  And also, this morning - those pretty little cupcakes.  As I was busy doing some volunteer work on the computer - my daughter frosted those cupcakes.  Life is sweet.

I am blessed and fortunate.  I have a house, clothing, food, access to healthcare and education or educational resources, three healthy and happy children, a good husband, caring and compassionate family and friends.  I am loved, and I love.  Life is sweet, people, life is sweet. 

Goodreads...to rate books or not?

I like using Goodreads to keep track of books that I have read or want to read.  Before, I kept lists of books scribbled in notebooks or saved in computer documents.  Inevitably, I would forget which notebook or what document.  Eventually I would find the right list, but it wasn’t convenient.  That's the great thing about Goodreads:  it's one central place to keep track of my reading.  I can quickly enter information in the same place from my computer or smartphone.  With the app on my phone, I can enter titles when I'm away from home - at the bookstore, at a library or just anywhere I might be when someone mentions or shows me an interesting book.  With all the driving I do, I often hear about books while listening to programs on NPR.  Once I park the car - of course never while driving! - I enter titles I want to read, so I won't forget them.  

Besides keeping track of books I want to read, Goodreads is a handy place to track what I have read.  For many years, I have kept a reading log in some form.  Now I do that on Goodreads.  I can also follow the reading habits of my friends who are on the site, and I do enjoy seeing what they're reading.  I find out about books I haven't heard of.  Seeing that a friend is reading a particular book may remind me that I want to read that title too.  I read friends' reviews of books and other people's reviews as well.  Sometimes I check to see what people have written about a particular book I'm thinking of reading.  This gives me a better idea about the book, and may help me decide whether or not to read it.  Reading reviews after I’ve read a certain book is a way to see if anyone had similar reactions.  Perhaps I’m not the only reader who thought the ending didn’t make sense or who didn’t get that plot element or who thought the author rambled.  

I have gone back and forth as to whether or not to rate books on Goodreads.  At first, I never rated books and now I sometimes do.  The one to five star method of rating books is a little too simplistic and subjective.  But all methods of rating books are subjective, aren't they?  Goodreads assigns statements to each number of stars as follows:

one star - did not like it

two stars - it was ok

three stars - like it

four stars - really like it

five stars - it was amazing 

 

I don't know if rating books as to whether or not (or how much) I like them really helps other readers. Although I may really like something simply because it entertains or interests me personally, that doesn't necessarily mean it's particularly well-written or has any special literary value.  I read for a lot of different reasons, as we all do.  If I'm interested in a certain topic, I may read a book on that topic because the author is an expert or has a specific viewpoint.  If that book provides the information I need or resonates with me, then I could give it four stars and say I "really like it," even if the writing was less than stellar.  If the writing is particularly poor, then I probably would give it fewer stars.  But, you see, it gets a bit complicated.  In a novel - an event that seems totally contrived or a character that seems completely unlikeable to me, may seem perfectly plausible or likeable to another reader.  Those factors may or may not affect whether a reader likes or dislikes a book.  Different readers and reviewers are looking for different things.  With genre, writing quality and style, individual tastes will vary.  

I know...I'm over-thinking the whole thing.  Yet it feels weird - for example - to give four stars to some historical fiction bordering on chick-lit that really entertained me and then give only two or three stars to an 800-page piece of prize-winning literary fiction that turned out to be a lot of work to read and a bit confusing too.  Because those two books are not really comparable at all, you know?  Ultimately, I'm not sure if I'll assign "star" ratings to the books I read or not.  I'd prefer to continue writing a blog post each month that summarizes (and reviews) my reading.  We'll see if I can keep up with that!   

Don't give up, my friend - Barney, resilience & the growth mindset

Last week, I was mentally beating myself up over my failure to write three blog posts.  I posted twice, but Saturday came around and I just knew I wouldn't be able to write a third post and meet my goal.  As a spontaneous and - in fact - very helpful interruption to my spiraling negative thoughts, a song started running through my head:

If you can't do it the first time,
Don't give up, my friend,
'Cause you're gonna do it sometime
And you will be so happy then,
So try and try,
Try and try again!

I learned this song from Barney.  Yes, that Barney - the big purple dinosaur.  It's probably been over a decade since I've watched that show.  Of the various PBS shows my children watched, I would not rate Barney as one of my favorites.  It was what my kids might now call "cheesy" - over-exaggerated, preachy and bright in a way that can only be appreciated by toddlers, I think.  The dancing was stiff and robotic; even the black kid didn't have rhythm.  The songs were obvious and sugary.  But, apparently, that one particular song made an impression on me.  It broke into my recent ruminations and disrupted their power.  Don't give up your blog goal, I thought, just try again next week.

I recall singing this song to my kids at different times when they were little.  Maybe someone was learning to tie his shoes or trying to ice-skate for the first time.  Maybe someone was getting frustrated while building a complicated Lego set.  I would sing a few lines from the song and encourage the child to continue.  Obviously, as the kids got older, singing a Barney tune became a less effective form of encouragement.  But the song's message of resilience and trying again is one that I still try to impress upon my kids.  Lately, I've read a few articles or posts that reference Carol Dweck's book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.  Although I haven't read the book yet, I completely agree with the advantages of having a growth mindset as described on her website:

In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment. Virtually all great people have had these qualities.

According to the book's description on her website, Dweck discovered this idea through decades of research.  Well, she may be the first to formally research the concept and give it the name "growth mindset."  Innovators since the beginning of time recognized that hard work and dedication are the keys to success in various endeavors.  Thomas Edison had a growth mindset.  He famously said of his experiments, "I have not failed.  I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."  Here is another quote of his that is a favorite of mine:

I look forward to reading Dweck's book and learning more about her research and her suggestions for encouraging a growth mindset.  And, more importantly, I thank Barney for helping me remember a very important message when I needed it!    

*****

P.S. I also enjoy this old-school proverb/poem, which can be found in various children's anthologies and is attributed to William Edward Hickson (1803-1870): 

Try, Try Again

'Tis a lesson you should heed,
Try, try again;
If at first you don't succeed,
Try, try again
Then your courage should appear,
You will conquer, never fear;
Try, try again.

P.P.S.  In the age of Google, I knew I could find my Barney song online.  Perhaps I am the only one who is really interested in this, but here are the complete lyrics (slightly different from what I remembered) to "Try and Try Again":

If you can't do it the first time,
Try and try again.
If you can't do it the second time,
Don't give up, my friend.
'Cause you're gonna do it sometime.
And you will be so happy then.
So try and try, try and try again.

See the pretty birdie
Way up in the sky.
When he was just a little bird,
He didn't know how to fly.

He watched his mommy flap her wings
And soar so high.
She told him,
"You can do it if you try."

I was blowing bubbles
With little Baby Bop
Every time she tried it,
The bubble just went pop.
But then she blew it so big
It floated up in my rooftop.
She did it because she did not stop.

See the pretty birdie
Way up in the sky.
When he was just a little bird,
He didn't know how to fly.

He watched his mommy flap her wings
And soar so high.
She told him,
"You can do it if you try." 

Nature therapy

Yesterday, my daughter and I went on a nice leisurely hike.  We walked and wandered the paths at the Urban Ecology Center/Riverside Park and the Milwaukee Rotary Centennial Arboretum.  We sat on logs or boulders to observe, converse and write in our nature journals.  It was a lovely end-of-summer sort of day, and I can't think of a better way to have spent it.  We delighted in the sights and sounds and enjoyed the afternoon sunshine.  After some cold and dreary days, it did us good.  I know my mood felt lightened and lifted.  And I think my daughter's did too, as she broke into a joyful, open-armed run on a stretch of pathway flanked by wildflowers and grasses.

 
Whenever I spend time in nature, I wonder why I don't do it more often.  I know that I will feel refreshed and rejuvenated, and yet I don't always make time for it.  When the kids were younger, we made more time for nature walks.  Although we live in the city, there are plenty of nearby places to immerse ourselves in nature.  Right behind our house is the Milwaukee River and the forests that run alongside it.  There are many beautiful parks and nature centers/preserves within fifteen to thirty minutes of our house.  I love the Japanese concept of shinrin-yoku, or forest bathing.  American authors and naturalists have written about the health benefits of nature as well.  I read Richard Louv's Last Child in the Woods: Saving our Children from Nature Deficit Disorder when it was first published.  He has also written The Nature Principle: Reconnecting with Life in a Virtual Age.  A quick search on Amazon brought up several more titles on this topic.  The researcher in me is tempted to read a few of those books, and maybe I will.  But I don't need a book to tell me that I feel better when I get outside.  What I really need is to be more deliberate about spending time outside in nature each week.  What I really need is forest-bathing. 

Some observations and reflections from my nature journal and more photos from our hike:

In the forest -
What a gorgeous day!  By the calendar, it is still summer.  At 64 degrees and sunny with a cool breeze, it feels like a cross between summer and fall.  It still looks mostly like summer with wildflowers blooming and butterflies flitting about.  The leaves I see all about me here are mostly still green, although I see a patch of orange-yellow at the top of one small tree.  We saw a slightly ginger-colored squirrel parked on the side of a tree while chewing intently on an acorn.  Humans are here too - schoolchildren with their teachers, UEC staff, a fisherman heading toward the river, a young couple biking, people walking their dogs.  We are sitting in a circle of benches under a canopy of green with a clear blue sky peaking through.
    

In the arboretum -
This is such a tranquil place.  We are sitting at the top of a hill on a large stone block.  I look out and see a prairie full of wildflowers, a forest of trees and the Milwaukee River in the distance.  Flying about are butterflies - lots of monarchs, but others too.  The sound of crickets (or grasshoppers?) mostly drowns out the noise of traffic from nearby busy - but unseen - city streets.  Facing west, the only building I see is the spire of St. Casimir's rising up across the river.  At this moment - that and the back-up beep of a truck are the only reminders that I am not in some remote place.  I am so appreciative of this bit of wilderness.  I am simply in the wild, with the sun's warmth cheering me after yesterday's cold and rain.  Although we see a few people walking the paths, our main companions here are bees, butterflies, dragonflies and birds.

August reading notes - immigration, mysteries & more

My reading life felt a bit heavy in August.  Perhaps it was the weighty subject matter or seriousness of some of the books, or the way the memoir I read hit home with the whole "my kids are really growing up" thing.  After these six books, I'm reading something that features a bit less stark reality and provides a bit more escapist entertainment for me.   

Enrique's Journey (The Young Adult Adaptation):  The True Story of a Boy Determined to Reunite with His Mother by Sonia Nazario

This was the all-school summer read at my sons' high school.  The book grew out of a newspaper series in the Los Angeles Time written by Sonia Nazario.  Nazario chronicles the experiences of Enrique, a Honduran boy whose mother (Lourdes) left him and his sister to work in the United States.  Enrique is subsequently abandoned by his father and then lives with his grandmother and a variety of other relatives.  All are very poor.  Lourdes sends money, which makes Enrique's life materially better in some ways, but he struggles with the hole left by her absence.  Eventually, he decides to travel to the U.S. to reunite with her.  The bulk of the story is about Enrique's many attempts, failures, struggles, hardships and ultimate success in reaching the U.S.  This is a well-researched book; Nazario made a similar journey herself, so that she could document the unbelievable lengths that Enrique and other Central Americans go through to make this dangerous journey.  Enrique and Lourdes' reunion is bittersweet.  They are happy to see each other, but also confused, angry and unsure about how to re-establish a relationship.  In my opinion, the book wasn't well-written.  Perhaps it read better as a newspaper series.  It's the sort of compelling nonfiction that should read almost like a novel, but it seemed clunky and choppy.  I kept reading because I wanted to know the outcome of Enrique's journey and because I have a lot of interest in Central America and the topic of immigration.   This is a very timely read considering the current influx of young people from Central America and the ongoing debate about immigration reform in the U.S.  

The Book of Unknown Americans by Cristina Henriquez

I didn't plan to follow Enrique's Journey with a novel about Latin American immigrants.  My hold came in at the library, so this was my next read.  In this beautifully written novel, Henriquez tells the story of the Rivera family from Mexico, who come to the U.S. seeking help for their daughter who was injured in a serious accident.  In their apartment building in Maryland, they meet and befriend the Toro family from Panama.  The novel tells the back story of these families - their lives in their home countries and their reasons for coming to the U.S. - interspersed with their current experiences.  Their children, Maribel and Mayor, fall in love.  Woven among the stories of the two families, which are told from the perspectives of the various family members, are short stories about other immigrants from Latin America who also live in the apartment building.  I can see how some people might think these stories didn't really fit in with the main narrative, but I found that they further illuminated the themes of immigration and dislocation.  This is a moving story - sometimes hopeful, sometimes painfully heartbreaking.  I recommend it. 
 

 Hold On To Your Kids:  Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers by Gordon Neufeld and Gabor Mate

I read this parenting book several years ago and decided to reread it now that my children are older.  This book really resonates with my beliefs about family life.  I agree with the authors' main point, which is that parents - not peers - should be the primary guiding and socializing influence in children's lives.  However, we are a society that puts high value on peer relationships for children.  The authors give some historical perspective, citing a shift that occurred after the Second World War, before which people's lives were more family-focused.  They then explain how peer attachment has undermined parenting and family life, and how it even stunts healthy development.  The last sections of the book are about how to prevent peer orientation or how to reclaim children that have become peer-attached.  The authors are not saying that children shouldn't have friends, but rather that children shouldn't be primarily-oriented toward friends instead of their parents.  It seems almost counter-culture in today's society, but I agree.  Highly recommended! 

I saw online that there is an updated edition of this book that includes chapters on technology and social media.  The updated version was not available in my library system, but I'd be interested to read it.  With smartphones and social media, today's children and teens can be more readily and constantly connected with their friends than ever before.

Except the Dying (Murdoch Mysteries #1)
Under the Dragon's Tail (Murdoch Mysteries #2) 
by Maureen Jennings

I'm completely in love with the CBC television series Murdoch Mysteries.  Since the current season of the show won't be available in the U.S. until sometime next year, I thought I'd read some of the books upon which the show is based.  That would be - upon which the show is loosely based.  I read the first two books, and they are almost completely different from the television series.  And yet, they were still decent murder mysteries and historical/period novels to boot.  I think I'll probably read more of them just to feel close to the characters I love. 

The Gift of an Ordinary Day:  A Mother's Memoir by Katrina Kenison

Parts of this book are really good and beautiful.  The author's experiences, thoughts and ideas really resonate with me, but I thought she got repetitive at times.  The memoir covers a time in her family's life when she and her husband decide to sell their house, uproot their two adolescent boys and move to another state.  It seemed like a sort of mid-life crisis to me.  They lived with the author's parents for a few years, during which they bought a piece of land with an old falling-down house.  They lived in the house for one summer, but ultimately they had it torn down and had a new house built.  I enjoyed the author's revelations about many topics, including:  home, nature, seasons, solitude, friendship, writing, family life and parenting.  Most meaningful to me were her experiences with her teenage sons:  the joys and struggles and uncertainties, the emotions we feel as our children begin the process of growing into their own lives.  This was sometimes almost painful to read, because I'm right in the middle of it and feeling it too.  She writes about her apprehension about new schools and other big changes, about applying to colleges and more.  Yet I also found her thoughts reassuring as she struggled with her realization that she had to let go, that she could not control every decision and circumstance.  We all realize this, but I think we have to realize it again and again as our children grow up.  I would recommend this book, with the caveat that her philosophical revelations - while good - can be repetitive.  

*****

P.S.  Currently I'm reading:

The Divergent Series - We watched the movie Divergent a few weeks ago, and I decided to read the series.  I finished Divergent and have just started Insurgent.  I have a feeling the first book is probably the best in the series and it may go down a bit from there, but I'm pretty sure I'll be adequately entertained by all three.

Accountability, again

I am a person who does better with clear and concrete goals.  And accountability.  I’ve written about that before.  I began my 30-day blog challenge on June 23 and finished it on July 22.  I publicly committed to blogging thirty days in a row, and so I did.  The topics, quality and length of the posts varied – but, I stuck to my commitment and did it.  It was tough and also rewarding.  I never meant to continue blogging every single day, but I figured I’d fall into a routine of blogging a few times a week.  I blogged twice at the beginning of August.  And then…nothing.  My mistake was thinking that a natural (magical?) blogging routine would grow out of my thirty day challenge.  My mistake was not setting up goals and accountability for myself.  I knew that I wanted to continue blogging on a regular basis.  I’m not sure why I didn’t realize that I needed a clear goal.  Otherwise, all the excuses and busyness that prevented me from blogging before would stop me again.  Yes, I was applying to and interviewing for part-time jobs.  Yes, we were busy with all sorts of end-of-summer events.  Yes, I was gearing up for the school year ahead – getting my sons ready for their freshman and junior years in high school and starting to plan the homeschool year with my daughter.  But there’s always something.  There was always something during the thirty day blog challenge too.  But even when there’s always something, I want to write.  I have to learn that lesson over and over again, it seems.    

I was thinking about writing goals while reading a couple of interesting articles. The first was on a website called 99U-Insightson making ideas happen.  The article, "How I Kept a 373-Day Productivity Streak Unbroken," was written by author Jamie Todd Rubin.  He writes about how a shift in thinking  - from assuming that a daily writing habit required large blocks of uninterrupted time to realizing that he could maximize writing in smaller chunks of time (even just 10-20 minutes) - transformed his writing life.  In the article, Rubin outlines some other strategies that have helped him continue his 373-day (now longer) writing streak:  writing as early in the day as possible; having multiple writing projects to choose to work on; and tackling projects from different angles when writer's block appears.  As a follow up to that article, he wrote more specifically about the details of his writing streak on his own website with a post titled "FAQ on My Ongoing Consecutive Day Writing Streak."  Rubin explains what "counts" as writing in his streak and what he has actually produced and published during his streak.  He includes statistics and programs that he uses to keep track of his writing.  Honestly, I didn't really understand or care to understand all of that technical stuff.  But, obviously, it works for him.  As of today, he has written for 413 consecutive days!  I find Rubin's story to be very motivating.  He found what works for him.  And since he is a published science fiction author, he has also found success.     

My own goal, of course, will be different than Jamie Todd Rubin's.  I am not planning to write everyday for hundreds of days.  My own goal for right now is to blog three times per week.  I don't plan to use an elaborate program to track my blogging goal.  I will keep track of it on a paper calendar.  However, to bring in the important element of accountability, I may decide to track my three posts per week in a more public way.  I'm still thinking about that.  Well, that's my first post for this week.  Two more to go!  

 

July reading notes: variety is the spice of life

In July, I read a nice mix of fiction and nonfiction.  I really enjoyed the three novels I read, which were from three completely different areas - contemporary adult, young adult historical fiction and children's classic.  Variety is good!  I was very interested in the content of the two nonfiction works that I read.  One did not satisfy, but the other was fantastic and inspiring.  A great month of reading overall.


The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin

This is the heartwarming and engrossing summer novel I had been hoping to read.  According to the author's website, this novel is "is a love letter to the world of books—and booksellers—that changes our lives by giving us the stories that open our hearts and enlighten our minds."

I can't help but like a plot that takes place largely in and around a bookstore.  This story does have some tragedy and sadness in it, too.  Its main characters are quirky and loveable.  The novel is full of literary references; some I got and others I didn't.  Now I have a list of short stories and books to add to my TBR list.

The Path to Purpose: How Young People Find Their Calling in Life
by William Damon

I wanted to like this book, and I do agree with with the theme.  According to his website, the author is "one of the world’s leading scholars in human development."  He writes a lot about why young people need to have purpose and what happens if they don't, and he gives examples of young people who have found purpose.  However, the material is not presented in an interesting or compelling way.  I think most people who work with children understand the WHY, but want more of the HOW.  Only at the end of the book does the author give some specifics as to how we can help young people find their purpose.  There are other books that do a much better job.  Off the top of my head, I would suggest Project-Based Homeschooling: Mentoring Self-Directed Learners by Lori Pickert.  That book, which I recommend to all parents/teachers and not just homeschoolers, explains how we can observe, recognize and encourage children's interests and passions.  That's one of the best ways to help them find their purpose, in my opinion.  

From the Mixed-up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler by E.L. Konigsburg.  Beloved children's author E.L. Konigsburg died last year at the age of eighty-three.  Konigsburg won two Newberry medals, as well as many other honors during her distinguished writing career.   

This novel, one of her Newberry winners, was the selection for our mother-daughter book club last month.  It was great to revisit this title, which I never read as a child but read many years ago as a children's bookseller.  It was even better to share that experience with my eleven year old daughter.  We both thoroughly enjoyed this classic story with its mix of mystery, adventure and coming-of-age elements.

 

Uprising by Margaret Peterson Haddix

My sister Ann recommended this book to me, which she heard about from her local independent bookstore.  See the author's website here.  This is young adult historical fiction, written about the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire in 1911.  The story focuses on three young women whose paths cross - two are immigrants who work at the factory and the third is a privileged high-society girl.  The book excellently portrays the immigrants' struggles, the horrible and exploitative working conditions of the time, and the solidarity of the immigrants and workers.  It's a sad story dealing with the tragedy of the fire and the loss of so many lives but does offer hope in the end.  It's also an entertaining and informative history lesson that gives voice to those who lost their lives and the struggle for humane working conditions. 

The Urban Bestiary: Encountering the Everyday Wild by Lyanda Lynn Haupt.  I'm kind of in love with this book.  The author is a nature writer who lives in Seattle.  She observes the wildlife in her own yard and surrounding neighborhood, and then expands into the background, history and science of the various animals that live among us in urban and suburban settings.  Mixed in with that, Haupt delves into mythology, philosophy and practical advice for observing, appreciating and/or dealing with the creatures in our midst.  Although my children and I have done various nature observation projects in the past, I have not done much lately.  This book has really inspired me to: closely observe the animals that visit my yard and neighborhood, take more nature walks/hikes, and start a nature notebook or journal.  I'll definitely be referring to and rereading parts of this book.  Highly recommended!    

*****

P.S.  Currently I'm reading:

Enrique's Journey:  The True Story of a Boy Determined to Reunite with His Mother (Adapted for Young People) by Sonia Nazario - This book is a required summer read for my sons' high school.

Hold On to Your Kids:  Why Parents Need to Matter More than Peers by Gordon Neufeld, Ph.D., and Gabor Mate, M.D. - I read this book several years ago and am revisiting it.

Let it go or set them free

When I finished my thirty day blog challenge on July 22nd, I planned to keep up the momentum by blogging two more times that week and three times the following week.  I even penciled in target dates on my calendar.  Yet here we are almost two weeks later, and I'm just returning to my blog.  Today I feel ready.  I have the time and energy; I have something to say.  My idea of keeping up the momentum and continuing without a break did not work, so I let it go.  There was a neighborhood event; there was a scary situation with our foster cats; there were sleepless nights; there was laundry and preparing for a trip; and there was a wonderful trip to visit my sister and her family in Minnesota.  When it came down to it, blogging was not a priority.  Let it go.  Long before the ubiquitous hit song from Frozen, "let it go" was a useful mantra for me.  Although, I admit that I sometimes now sing it to myself to the tune of that song.  It makes me think of another song, "If You Love Somebody Set Them Free" by Sting.  The refrain "set them free" is also a useful mantra, and I can sing that one too!  There are ideas and things and situations and maybe even people that we need to let go or set free.  Even stories sometimes need to be set free. 

As a writer, I keep lists or drafts of stories I want to tell.  Some of these stories, I have held on to very tightly.  It's possible to hoard a story, I think.  When it came time to write my blog posts, I wondered if I should share certain stories.  Was it the perfect time to tell that story?  Would I be able to tell the story in the perfect way?  Again, with the perfect.  If I let this story go, if I set that story free...if I share it, will there be more stories to tell?  I was falling into the common trap of thinking in terms of scarcity rather than abundance.  There will always be more stories to tell, and it felt so good to share my stories and set them free.

While I may have been a bit of a hoarder with my stories, I am not at all a hoarder when it comes to things.  Minimalism works for me, but my one weakness is books.  I can be too reluctant to part with them.  Not that it's a bad thing to collect books, but I feel I need to be just as aware of my tendency to hold on to books as to any other item.  Books, like other possessions, need to be taken care of and stored so they take up both physical and mental space.  And could certain books be enhancing or blessing someone's life rather than sitting static on our shelves?  Many times, the answer is yes.  I have gotten better about letting them go.  Recently, I weeded out many children's reference books that either my children had outgrown or that we had never used.  When a friend was collecting books for a local literacy agency, I was able to grab a stack of children's books off the shelves without any second thoughts at all.  I will still hold on to the books that hold a special place in our family's hearts and memories, but I've made progress in setting many books free.

It's also wonderful to set free and let go of ideas that hail from How Things Should Be.  You know what I'm talking about, right?  The "we've always done things this way" or "that's the way we did it when I was a kid" or "that's the best/proper/logical/easiest way."  Don't get me wrong - I love tradition.  One of my favorite things as a parent is to share with my children the traditions that I grew up with as a child - whether those are seasonal or religious or holiday traditions.  What I'm talking about when I talk about How Things Should Be is when we hold on to ideas that are no longer working or no longer make sense or don't need to be applied unilaterally.  These are generally not ideas that other people impose upon me, but rather ideas that I impose upon myself.  An example is my now-abandoned idea that my children and I must read a book before we can watch any movie based upon said book.  As a voracious reader and book lover, I held onto this one for quite a while.  I still think it's not a bad idea, but I let it go as a general principle.  This mistaken principle is once again linked to idea of scarcity over abundance.  The scarcity thought is:  "If we watch the movie first, then we will never read the book."  Not true at all.  Case in point:  my younger two children watched all of the Harry Potter movies before they read the books.  And then they both read all of the books - voraciously.  I really enjoy Murdoch Mysteries, a Canadian television series.  Since the show is not available in the U.S. until well after it airs in Canada, there is a lot of time to wait in between seasons.  I'm planning to read the books on which the series is based, so that I can get more of the stories and characters until the next season is available.  

Letting go of ideas about How Things Should Be leads to abundance rather than scarcity.  In the sixteen years that I have been a parent and in the seven years that I have home-schooled, I have let go of many principles related to How Things Should Be.  Our family life has benefited greatly from adjusting to changing situations and letting go when it makes sense.  The decision to "let it go" or "set them free" has helped me live a more authentic life.  Change is always present, and I imagine I'll continue to say (or sing) my mantras for the rest of my life.  

  

On putting yourself out there, vulnerability & connection

In my very first post on this blog, I mentioned some of the reasons I procrastinated for so long on getting my blog started.  There was a good deal of perfectionism involved.  Directly linked to perfectionism is fear.  Recently, I've been talking, reading and thinking quite a bit about the fear of "putting yourself out there."  When I wrote my post about parenting as an introvert, I visited Susan Cain's website to get appropriate links for attribution in my post.  The first thing that popped up was a blog post entitled "How to Overcome the Fear of 'Putting Yourself Out There.'"  A bit of synchronicity there. 


The "Creative Process" list and graphic pictured above can describe both how the creator feels during the process of creating and also how she feels during the process of sharing what she has created.  Sometimes I go through those feelings as I'm writing a post.  And I also may revisit those feelings when I share what I have written - through Facebook or an e-mail message - and hope for some feedback.  Or at least some indication that a few people are reading what I write.  I have put myself out there, and - yes - I still feel vulnerable while I try to be brave about sharing my written words.  Maybe they think what I write is crap.  Maybe what I write *is* crap.  Although I know it's never a good idea to assume what is going on in another person's mind.  And then...some people "like" a post or comment or send an e-mail or mention in a conversation that they've read a certain post.  Others remain silent.  Sometimes the people who are silent are people who I thought would be interested or supportive.  And I can't assume they're not, but I wonder.  


As a result - putting myself out there has helped me develop more empathy, both for those who put themselves out there and for those who hold back.  People put themselves out there in so many different sorts of ways - initiating a group or activity, teaching or sharing skills, changing the dynamics in an organization, standing up for what they believe in, showing artwork, sharing feelings, etc.  I've been delighted by the connection I've felt to other people who have commented on or talked to me about what I've written.  Writing my blog has connected me with friends (old and new), relatives, neighbors and acquaintances.  Writing my blog has helped me be more empathetic and responsive to those who put themselves out there in their own way.  And there's empathy for people who are silent, too.  I don't know the reason for their silence.  And I try to put into practice something I've recently learned from my lovely cousin-friend Lori.  It's a practice called "just like me."  In her example - if a speeding driver irritates her, she thinks, "That person is driving too fast.  Just like me.  Sometimes I drive too fast."  In my case, since I've been thinking why certain people don't respond to my writing.  They're just like me.  Sometimes I don't respond or hold back.  Or they might be just like me in other ways.  They might just be really, really busy or sick or tired or sad or struggling with any number of issues.  If I think of them being "just like me," then I can be more empathetic.  Whether that means making more of an effort to respond to and acknowledge someone's hard work or passion or purpose or interest or initiative or joy.  Or whether that means acknowledging someone's sadness or grief or difficulty or anxiety or struggle.  Either way, it's about seeing other people.  And not holding back in seeing them where they are.  This has all been said much better by others.  I highly recommend Brene Brown's books and TED talks; you can find out more about them on her website.  I just re-watched both of her TED talks, The Power of Vulnerability and Listening to Shame, and was so inspired.


I have felt vulnerable in the process of sharing my writing.  And I have also felt a great deal of connection and purpose and joy.  It has been an amazing experience.  Thanks to all who have read any of my posts and therefore supported me through my thirty day blog challenge!