Thursday, March 17, 2016

You had a bad day.




A couple of weeks ago
you had a bad day

You woke up in the morning
with a splitting headache
you felt nauseous and
you haven't felt that close
to vomiting in ages
what did you eat
yesterday?

You still went to
get your haircut
she washed your hair
massaged your head and
made your frizz
pretty and smooth
that was a not-bad
part of the day
and the headache
went away

You got an e-mail
that you were not
selected for that thing
you auditioned for
again
you were disappointed
you cried just a little bit
alone in the bathroom

Your kid found out
that he didn't get
that one scholarship
you were all
hoping for
that would have made
all college decisions
easier

You took your
tween & teenagers
shopping
you hate shopping
the kids found stuff
but not you
in all of the stores
none of the clothes
fit you

You moped somewhat
you listened to
sad songs
you went to a fish fry
with family you love
at your mom's church
cheap beer and
all you can eat
that was another
not-bad part of the day

A few days later
you received a gift
from a friend
more importantly
the letter she wrote
we (parents) all do the best we can
and she encouraged you
to keep writing
and you needed that

And even though
you had a bad day
you know your bad day
is not so bad at all
because
your bad day
still includes
a house
central heating
indoor plumbing
clean water
beds and clothes
stores and food
books and libraries
freedom and peace
your friends
your family
joy faith hope
love love love

*****

When I have a bad day, I think of the children's book Alexander and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day.  I can't remember much of the plot since I haven't read it for years.  But what a great title!  If I'm feeling melancholy or dramatic, it might help me laugh at myself a bit.  "Mary and the Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Day"  :)

Also, this song:





Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Am I distracted or just interested in a lot of stuff?

Goal-setting, self-discipline, productivity and time management - I'm interested in all of these topics.  I've written about them before and also about the distractions of computers, the internet and social media.  I was thinking about all of the above because lately I've been feeling kind of like that mouse in the children's book If You Give a Mouse a Cookie by Laura Joffe Numeroff



If you're not familiar with the book, you can hear it read aloud here.  Like the mouse in the book, each thing I do gives me the idea that I want or need to do another thing, sometimes related and sometimes not.  Or I attempt to do multiple things at the same time and call it "multi-tasking."  I can certainly talk on the phone while I'm folding laundry or doing the dishes.  But other combinations, like reading and overseeing schoolwork, don't mesh so well.  I'm sitting in one room reading and hear, "What are prime numbers, again?" from the other room.  I'm not giving adequate attention to either my math student or to the story I'm reading for a class.  I actually waste time, because I'm going to have to reread the story anyway.  And I know that when I'm attentive to my student, she tends to get her math done more efficiently.  There are plenty of articles that cite research about the inefficacy and even danger of multitasking.  In fact, "Multitasking is Killing Your Brain" according to one article.

But the feeling of the mouse in the book is more a lack of focus than multitasking.  Does the mouse have an attention problem?  Does doing one thing make him realize he must do another?  Or is he just really enthusiastic about and interested in things?  What about me?  If I walk down to the basement to scoop out the cat litter and notice the stairs need vacuuming, then scooping the cat litter leads me to vacuuming the stairs.  Or ignoring them if I don't have time.  But when looking at pictures in a book makes the mouse want to draw, his lack of focus comes from excitement or enthusiasm.  In my case, I just finished reading the book I Am Malala: How One Girl Stood Up for Education and Changed the World (Young Readers Edition), and I'll be leading a discussion of the book with a group of middle school girls.  We also watched the documentary He Named Me Malala last night.  (I highly recommend both the book and the movie, by the way.) 



So today - instead of using the hours when my daughter was at her gym class to work as I had planned, I stopped at the library and checked out a few books about Pakistan.  Then I came home, went to the basement and looked through a big plastic tub that holds several years of National Geographic Magazine to see if any focused on Pakistan.  Those were both fine things to do, except I had allotted that time for work.  Well, I just pushed the work into the evening and got it done.  But I didn't really have to look through all those magazines.  I only found one about Pakistan.  Then I remembered that there is an online subject index for National Geographic.  When I typed in "Pakistan," only that issue came up.  That would have saved me the time I spent scanning the spines of all those magazines.  In that case, technology would have been a time-saver not a time-waster. 

So...am I distracted or just interested in a lot of stuff?  Both, I imagine.  Still, I think I'd feel less stressed and have more time to do the things I want to do, if I made more of an effort to put some boundaries around my time.  My schedule - both work and home - allows for a lot of flexibility.  That's good.  Unlike the fictional mouse in the book, however, I do have real responsibilities.  It might be better to stick to a stricter schedule.  It also might be better to focus on one thing at a time and finish it before I start something else.  I've already thought of some things that would help with this - turning off notifications about work or personal emails and setting aside certain times for each of those, for example.     

Now, speaking of cookies - I smell something baking in the kitchen and that's a distraction I'm going to follow...