you're doing a good job.
people don't say that
often enough.
you're doing a good job
all you mommas
of babies and toddlers
and school-age kids
and tweens & teens
young adults & grown-ups.
you're doing the best
you can at each and
every moment.
that doesn't mean
you aren't tired
you don't lose it
you don't yell
sometimes
and make mistakes.
because you do,
we all do.
you're doing a good job
even so.
it's hard.
yes, it's hard.
motherhood is often
portrayed as seamless,
so very natural
and idealized.
sometimes however
it's hard.
all you mommas -
how could it not
be sometimes hard
to have part of your
heart living outside
of your body?
that doesn't mean
there aren't many
effortless moments
and smooth days
and joy, joy, joy
and love, love, love
always and even
among the hard.
it doesn't get easier.
sorry, it's true.
all you mommas -
let go of the idea
that after this stage
or after that milestone
or after such and such
accomplishment
that all worries, concerns
will melt away.
you are a momma
as long as you live.
but here's the good news -
even though
it doesn't get easier,
You. Get. Better.
you figure out
lots of things.
you learn how
to let go more.
you get better at
living the
joys and sorrows
triumphs and challenges
of being a momma.
You're a good momma, all you mommas.
I am so grateful for all of my beautiful momma friends with whom with I share the journey of motherhood.
*****
Bits of this came to me when I woke up way too early this morning. More of it came to me on a morning run. (Don't be impressed - the run was very short and very slow.) It doesn't feel quite finished or polished, but I'm releasing it today to honor all the amazing moms I know.
"let go of the idea that after this stage or that milestone or such and such accomplishment, that all worries, concerns will melt away." This is akin to the very ubiquitous feeling of I'll be happy when summer is here, when the kids move out, when we get a new house, when I have find the perfect partner, etc, etc, etc. Life changes. We grow. Those around us grow. We are all in the process of becoming. We make peace with how things are in this present moment knowing that it won't last and that we can be at peace with the next moment, the next, and the next. We can be at peace with happiness and with sorrow, with content feeling and with disappointment and struggle. We learn to let go of egos and expectations and "shoulds" and appreciate what IS. And we learn that we can keep learning. We don't have to know it all, understand it all, be good at it all.
ReplyDeleteToday I had a good laugh during yoga class. On Sundays mornings there is frequently a neighbor's dog who barks quite a bit. This morning as the teacher was talking about mothers and saying some pretty sensitive deep things about all of us, no matter or own individual status at the moment, have in common the fact that we came from a uterus. :-) Not a very romantic thought but she was making the point that mothers day can mean different things to different people and that people will have differing feelings on this day. At some point while she is talking the dog begins barking like crazy and she says, right in the stream of her other thoughts, something about the dog not having a very good mother. I laughed so hard I cried. I think I laughed because it seemed so inappropriate and out of character and yet also like a very real sentiment about how she was feeling about that dog's owner letting bark and bark like crazy. All you mommas!!!!
That's so true, Lori. I think motherhood, more than anything, has moved me along the path of learning to let go and accept what IS. As you say - "We don't have to know it all, understand it all, be good at it all."
DeleteI love your story about yoga class! Sometimes the absurd is so spot on and accurate, and laughter is the best medicine. :)