in-between

 

I walk in the park

crunching on dirty snow
and wafer-thin delicate ice
encapsulating the fallen leaves
tissue-paper-thin
fragile remnants
of last season
faded shades of brown
frozen on the
black asphalt
beautiful shapes
winter's designs
randomly created
more beautiful than
any human-made
assemblage

breathing deep the cold air
I can't resist
these beautiful scenes
and must take photos
...or so I think
Before the phone,
I would just look
before the phone,
the in-between
contained more
more silent waiting
more daydreams
more sitting still
more nothingness maybe?

now it's swipe
and click and
check and check
read or skim
take pictures
of everything
the in-between
makes me restless
and uncomfortable
in a way that
it used to not be

but the leaves and ice
the overlapping beauty
of autumn and winter
remind me
the spaces in between
can be beautiful
if I can just wait
and see the beauty
in between
one holiday and the next
one season and the next
one year and the next
one stage of life and the next

once there were
small children
in my life
now there are
teens and young adults
on the cusp of everything
and so am I too really
change for all of us
waiting, waiting, waiting

for the next thing
impatient for it
but maybe, maybe
I could for a moment
stop thinking about
what comes next
I could be quiet
look and listen
appreciate life's
random designs
the series of events
and circumstances
some of them controllable
most of them not at all

and let go
waiting
appreciating
in-between

*****

Walking in Kern Park has inspired my writing before.  See also:

I hug the trees too.
See the trees