Don't give up, my friend - Barney, resilience & the growth mindset

Last week, I was mentally beating myself up over my failure to write three blog posts.  I posted twice, but Saturday came around and I just knew I wouldn't be able to write a third post and meet my goal.  As a spontaneous and - in fact - very helpful interruption to my spiraling negative thoughts, a song started running through my head:

If you can't do it the first time,
Don't give up, my friend,
'Cause you're gonna do it sometime
And you will be so happy then,
So try and try,
Try and try again!

I learned this song from Barney.  Yes, that Barney - the big purple dinosaur.  It's probably been over a decade since I've watched that show.  Of the various PBS shows my children watched, I would not rate Barney as one of my favorites.  It was what my kids might now call "cheesy" - over-exaggerated, preachy and bright in a way that can only be appreciated by toddlers, I think.  The dancing was stiff and robotic; even the black kid didn't have rhythm.  The songs were obvious and sugary.  But, apparently, that one particular song made an impression on me.  It broke into my recent ruminations and disrupted their power.  Don't give up your blog goal, I thought, just try again next week.

I recall singing this song to my kids at different times when they were little.  Maybe someone was learning to tie his shoes or trying to ice-skate for the first time.  Maybe someone was getting frustrated while building a complicated Lego set.  I would sing a few lines from the song and encourage the child to continue.  Obviously, as the kids got older, singing a Barney tune became a less effective form of encouragement.  But the song's message of resilience and trying again is one that I still try to impress upon my kids.  Lately, I've read a few articles or posts that reference Carol Dweck's book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.  Although I haven't read the book yet, I completely agree with the advantages of having a growth mindset as described on her website:

In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work—brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment. Virtually all great people have had these qualities.

According to the book's description on her website, Dweck discovered this idea through decades of research.  Well, she may be the first to formally research the concept and give it the name "growth mindset."  Innovators since the beginning of time recognized that hard work and dedication are the keys to success in various endeavors.  Thomas Edison had a growth mindset.  He famously said of his experiments, "I have not failed.  I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."  Here is another quote of his that is a favorite of mine:

I look forward to reading Dweck's book and learning more about her research and her suggestions for encouraging a growth mindset.  And, more importantly, I thank Barney for helping me remember a very important message when I needed it!    

*****

P.S. I also enjoy this old-school proverb/poem, which can be found in various children's anthologies and is attributed to William Edward Hickson (1803-1870): 

Try, Try Again

'Tis a lesson you should heed,
Try, try again;
If at first you don't succeed,
Try, try again
Then your courage should appear,
You will conquer, never fear;
Try, try again.

P.P.S.  In the age of Google, I knew I could find my Barney song online.  Perhaps I am the only one who is really interested in this, but here are the complete lyrics (slightly different from what I remembered) to "Try and Try Again":

If you can't do it the first time,
Try and try again.
If you can't do it the second time,
Don't give up, my friend.
'Cause you're gonna do it sometime.
And you will be so happy then.
So try and try, try and try again.

See the pretty birdie
Way up in the sky.
When he was just a little bird,
He didn't know how to fly.

He watched his mommy flap her wings
And soar so high.
She told him,
"You can do it if you try."

I was blowing bubbles
With little Baby Bop
Every time she tried it,
The bubble just went pop.
But then she blew it so big
It floated up in my rooftop.
She did it because she did not stop.

See the pretty birdie
Way up in the sky.
When he was just a little bird,
He didn't know how to fly.

He watched his mommy flap her wings
And soar so high.
She told him,
"You can do it if you try."