Let it go or set them free

When I finished my thirty day blog challenge on July 22nd, I planned to keep up the momentum by blogging two more times that week and three times the following week.  I even penciled in target dates on my calendar.  Yet here we are almost two weeks later, and I'm just returning to my blog.  Today I feel ready.  I have the time and energy; I have something to say.  My idea of keeping up the momentum and continuing without a break did not work, so I let it go.  There was a neighborhood event; there was a scary situation with our foster cats; there were sleepless nights; there was laundry and preparing for a trip; and there was a wonderful trip to visit my sister and her family in Minnesota.  When it came down to it, blogging was not a priority.  Let it go.  Long before the ubiquitous hit song from Frozen, "let it go" was a useful mantra for me.  Although, I admit that I sometimes now sing it to myself to the tune of that song.  It makes me think of another song, "If You Love Somebody Set Them Free" by Sting.  The refrain "set them free" is also a useful mantra, and I can sing that one too!  There are ideas and things and situations and maybe even people that we need to let go or set free.  Even stories sometimes need to be set free. 

As a writer, I keep lists or drafts of stories I want to tell.  Some of these stories, I have held on to very tightly.  It's possible to hoard a story, I think.  When it came time to write my blog posts, I wondered if I should share certain stories.  Was it the perfect time to tell that story?  Would I be able to tell the story in the perfect way?  Again, with the perfect.  If I let this story go, if I set that story free...if I share it, will there be more stories to tell?  I was falling into the common trap of thinking in terms of scarcity rather than abundance.  There will always be more stories to tell, and it felt so good to share my stories and set them free.

While I may have been a bit of a hoarder with my stories, I am not at all a hoarder when it comes to things.  Minimalism works for me, but my one weakness is books.  I can be too reluctant to part with them.  Not that it's a bad thing to collect books, but I feel I need to be just as aware of my tendency to hold on to books as to any other item.  Books, like other possessions, need to be taken care of and stored so they take up both physical and mental space.  And could certain books be enhancing or blessing someone's life rather than sitting static on our shelves?  Many times, the answer is yes.  I have gotten better about letting them go.  Recently, I weeded out many children's reference books that either my children had outgrown or that we had never used.  When a friend was collecting books for a local literacy agency, I was able to grab a stack of children's books off the shelves without any second thoughts at all.  I will still hold on to the books that hold a special place in our family's hearts and memories, but I've made progress in setting many books free.

It's also wonderful to set free and let go of ideas that hail from How Things Should Be.  You know what I'm talking about, right?  The "we've always done things this way" or "that's the way we did it when I was a kid" or "that's the best/proper/logical/easiest way."  Don't get me wrong - I love tradition.  One of my favorite things as a parent is to share with my children the traditions that I grew up with as a child - whether those are seasonal or religious or holiday traditions.  What I'm talking about when I talk about How Things Should Be is when we hold on to ideas that are no longer working or no longer make sense or don't need to be applied unilaterally.  These are generally not ideas that other people impose upon me, but rather ideas that I impose upon myself.  An example is my now-abandoned idea that my children and I must read a book before we can watch any movie based upon said book.  As a voracious reader and book lover, I held onto this one for quite a while.  I still think it's not a bad idea, but I let it go as a general principle.  This mistaken principle is once again linked to idea of scarcity over abundance.  The scarcity thought is:  "If we watch the movie first, then we will never read the book."  Not true at all.  Case in point:  my younger two children watched all of the Harry Potter movies before they read the books.  And then they both read all of the books - voraciously.  I really enjoy Murdoch Mysteries, a Canadian television series.  Since the show is not available in the U.S. until well after it airs in Canada, there is a lot of time to wait in between seasons.  I'm planning to read the books on which the series is based, so that I can get more of the stories and characters until the next season is available.  

Letting go of ideas about How Things Should Be leads to abundance rather than scarcity.  In the sixteen years that I have been a parent and in the seven years that I have home-schooled, I have let go of many principles related to How Things Should Be.  Our family life has benefited greatly from adjusting to changing situations and letting go when it makes sense.  The decision to "let it go" or "set them free" has helped me live a more authentic life.  Change is always present, and I imagine I'll continue to say (or sing) my mantras for the rest of my life.