This is 47

Happy Thanksgiving!  I haven't blogged for a few weeks, although I have been writing.  I'm thankful for my writing life.  Right now, I'm particularly grateful for my participation in Principles & Prompts, an online course on creativity, story, and writing.  The course is taught by writer Christi Craig, and I'm enjoying it and learning a lot.

In other writing news...  Last week I had a deadline for a grant proposal I was writing.  A snafu with that process prompted me to write the first section of the piece below.  With my 47th birthday approaching and the upcoming (now here) Thanksgiving holiday, I added a few more sections that reflect the challenges of my 47 years along with gifts that outweigh those challenges.  I remembered seeing essays (in Brain, Child Magazine I think) that were titled This is 10 or This is 18, about various stages of childhood.  So, I thought why not This is 47?  It's just a brief and unpolished written snapshot of 47, but I like it all the same. 

This is 47

47 is I wrote the wrong address on the envelope

And on every. single. copy. of the grant proposal inside

I didn’t realize until the nice woman at the post office told me

That the address didn’t match the zip code

47 is being grateful for the postal worker and her computer that caught the error

And not freaking out about it like I used to

And laughing at myself because

I had seriously double-checked it so many times

47 is taking a breath and then…re-printing, mailing and moving on

 

47 is my lower back often aches

Sometimes I wake up at night and my shirt is soaking wet

My metabolism has left me for good

And I don’t sleep very well at all

47 is also appreciating this body

This achy-sweaty-soft and still strong body

That lives, loves, laughs, thinks, writes, reads, runs, sings & dances

That gave birth to three babies

47 is gratitude for the gifts of this living body

 

47 is the mom of a tween and two teens

Who are growing up as they should, but it sometimes breaks my heart

They can be moody and defiant and brutally honest

They are irritated by my excessive questions and want to be left alone

47 is also the mom of vibrant & curious people growing into their independent selves

Who make beautiful cards or write long notes for my birthday

They share my affection for babies and kittens

They express gratitude regularly, serve others willingly & encourage me to write

47 is three children whom I love infinitely and who love me too

 

47 is worrying about a lot of stuff

About teenage drivers and college applications

About meal planning and mortgage payments

About violence in our neighborhood and violence in our world

But 47 is also less worried about certain things too

I’m more comfortable in my skin

Less worried what others think

More embracing of who I am

And willing to open up to the creativity and potential

Of my 47 year old self

"Prettyish kind of a little wilderness" - in the city

I often visit my favorite neighborhood park, Kern Park, and the photos above were taken there last week.  They are quick snapshots captured on a partly cloudy day with a camera phone.  Yet they still show the beauty of one of my favorite spots.  Recently I've spent time in another beautiful city park, Washington Park.  Visiting these lovely urban natural spaces made me think of the phrase "prettyish kind of a little wilderness."  I love that phrase!  If you've read Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice or watched any of the film adaptations, you may recognize it.  I'm not sure if it makes the cut in all of the film adaptations, but it is definitely featured in the 1995 BBC miniseries.  The imposing character Lady Catherine de Bourgh speaks the line, as follows:

Miss Bennet, there seemed to be a prettyish kind of a little wilderness on one side of your lawn.  I should be glad to take a turn in it, if you will favour me with your company.

Before I veer off into Austenland, let's return to the parks.

Washington Park on a sunny day

When I visit these wild urban spaces, I'm in my very own "prettyish kind of a little wilderness."  I feel so fortunate to have such beautiful parks in the heart of my city.  And I enjoy watching them transform throughout the seasons.  Right now, there's explosive color and bare branches and leaves crunching underfoot.  Reflecting on the beauty of these places also reminded me of a post I read about a year ago.  It perplexed me when a person wrote about how good or lucky or fortunate it is to live in the country in the autumn.  The leaves change color on our trees in the city too, I thought.  I guess she just meant that she was more surrounded by the colors of fall than those of us who live in more developed areas, like cities and suburbs.  That's true.  It can be nice to head out of the city to visit forests or state parks or scenic areas in the country. 

And yet, it's so important to be grateful for and to appreciate what's most accessible to us.  To cherish the place where we live.  To visit the nature in our neighborhoods.  To find our own favorite "prettyish kind of a little wilderness."

*****
Here are more photos of Washington Park, on a cloudy and peaceful day. 

 

*****

I often write about my neighborhood and city.  If you enjoyed this post, you might also enjoy:
See the trees
Nature therapy
The place where I live, redux

Orion Magazine, Place Where You Live - Milwaukee, Wisconsin:
https://orionmagazine.org/place/milwaukee-wisconsin-7739/