Thursday, November 26, 2015

This is 47

Happy Thanksgiving!  I haven't blogged for a few weeks, although I have been writing.  I'm thankful for my writing life.  Right now, I'm particularly grateful for my participation in Principles & Prompts, an online course on creativity, story, and writing.  The course is taught by writer Christi Craig, and I'm enjoying it and learning a lot.

In other writing news...  Last week I had a deadline for a grant proposal I was writing.  A snafu with that process prompted me to write the first section of the piece below.  With my 47th birthday approaching and the upcoming (now here) Thanksgiving holiday, I added a few more sections that reflect the challenges of my 47 years along with gifts that outweigh those challenges.  I remembered seeing essays (in Brain, Child Magazine I think) that were titled This is 10 or This is 18, about various stages of childhood.  So, I thought why not This is 47?  It's just a brief and unpolished written snapshot of 47, but I like it all the same. 


This is 47


47 is I wrote the wrong address on the envelope

And on every. single. copy. of the grant proposal inside

I didn’t realize until the nice woman at the post office told me

That the address didn’t match the zip code

47 is being grateful for the postal worker and her computer that caught the error

And not freaking out about it like I used to

And laughing at myself because

I had seriously double-checked it so many times

47 is taking a breath and then…re-printing, mailing and moving on

 

47 is my lower back often aches

Sometimes I wake up at night and my shirt is soaking wet

My metabolism has left me for good

And I don’t sleep very well at all

47 is also appreciating this body

This achy-sweaty-soft and still strong body

That lives, loves, laughs, thinks, writes, reads, runs, sings & dances

That gave birth to three babies

47 is gratitude for the gifts of this living body

 

47 is the mom of a tween and two teens

Who are growing up as they should, but it sometimes breaks my heart

They can be moody and defiant and brutally honest

They are irritated by my excessive questions and want to be left alone

47 is also the mom of vibrant & curious people growing into their independent selves

Who make beautiful cards or write long notes for my birthday

They share my affection for babies and kittens

They express gratitude regularly, serve others willingly & encourage me to write

47 is three children whom I love infinitely and who love me too

 

47 is worrying about a lot of stuff

About teenage drivers and college applications

About meal planning and mortgage payments

About violence in our neighborhood and violence in our world

But 47 is also less worried about certain things too

I’m more comfortable in my skin

Less worried what others think

More embracing of who I am

And willing to open up to the creativity and potential

Of my 47 year old self







5 comments:

  1. Really nice -- thanks for posting!

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  2. Hi! This is the first year in so long that I have actually *missed* your birthday. I did not forget it. I thought about you and I thought about calling and texting and emailing and sending a card and all of that. I just never did any of it. And I kept thinking I would do it until I was actually in your presence and had to say to myself, "huh, you never did any of that stuff that you thought about doing and now it is really a moot point."
    That's okay, I suppose. I can see that you had a very nice birthday without me. :( (JK)
    I enjoy the structure and format of this piece. I like to think, now that it is a new calendar year, "this is 2016." This year will much in common with other years but it will also have its own flavor and its own stand outs, no doubt, just like our years of life.
    I also enjoy the moment in time (I call them watermelon seed moments) story about the grant proposal. So telling. These small moments. In moments of clarity, I too, can laugh at myself. At other times I am taking myself way too seriously and in too big of hurry to see how absurd and counterproductive it is to get so caught up and frustrated by such an occurrence.
    Thank you for sharing!!! Keep it up, please. :-)

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    Replies
    1. Lori, you are always so good about birthdays! It's funny, but I kind of knew you were thinking of me on my b-day anyway, just as I hope you'd know I'm thinking of you on your b-day. I guess it's the experience of growing up as close and connected cousins. Maybe ECP (extra-cousinly perception)?

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    2. Hi Mary, ECP! That is awesome. Yes, I am sure we both think of each other much more often than we get a chance to communicate!
      ( I got interrupted and don't think I actually posted my reply. If I did, then just ignore this one. :-))

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