Share what you know...

When our oldest child was little and wanted to play soccer, there was an elaborate network of having to know someone who knew someone in order to even find out how to register.  We clearly weren't in the right parent groups or neighborhoods or social settings where the carefully-rationed information about soccer for kids was openly shared.  This was before such information and registrations were available online.  So I definitely give props to the internet as a great equalizer for access to information.  Anyway, I was eventually told that my son might be able to get on a team although it could be full.  Then I was given specific yet mysterious directions about going to someone’s porch to pick up a form and returning it there with a check.  I felt like I was in the "Soup Nazi" episode of Seinfeld.  If I made a slight mistake and did not follow the secret soccer sign-up protocol exactly, someone was going to pop out and yell at me, "No soccer for you!"  And this was for recreational soccer.  For five year olds! 

That was a long time ago and my memory is embellished with a dash of hyperbole and a pinch of resentment.  Still, I think most of us have had experiences when people - for no logical reason - hoard information that could help us or others.  As a new teacher, I encountered colleagues who wouldn't share information about where to find the extra textbooks or details regarding the fire drill procedure.  Thank goodness there were also supportive people who shared that information openly.  Another example I remember is asking an acquaintance about a program her kids were involved in, because I considered her to have some expertise in that area.  And she told me to "google it."  Generally speaking, if people ask you a question, it's because they think you have some particular insight or experience that you might be willing to share.  They already know that they can google it.  I'm not sure why people didn't share information in these situations.  Did they feel that they've somehow "earned it" the hard way and that I should have to as well?
 
When people hold in or hoard information, they create a feeling of separation and disconnection in relationships with others.  When people share information, they create connection.  It's that simple. 

Recently one of my best friends asked me what I know about getting passports for kids.  We just went through that process, and she was needing to get a passport for one of her children too.  Of course, I was glad to tell her what I know.  She's my friend.  But even when an acquaintance or neighbor or co-worker or someone who isn't a friend asks me for some information, because they feel I might know something about a certain topic - I'm happy to share what I know.  Why not?  If I truly don't know or can't help, then I can just say that.  I've been fortunate to be on the receiving end of helpful information so many times.  I want to do the same for others if I can.

This is on my mind recently as we support our son through college and financial aid applications.  The process is still ongoing.  Let's just say we've run into a glitch that is not of our own making.  I've reached out to various people - who are paid to work in this field - with questions.  Some people could have shared information but did not.  Others patiently answered questions and shared information.  I have learned a ton about this process, and I'm already telling my friends with younger children to please-please ask me questions down the road.  I may not be an expert.  I may not be able to answer every question.  But you can be sure that I will freely share anything I know that may help you.    

Share what you know.  

Full disclosure:  I kind of wanted to title this post "Share that sh*t!"  It's so catchy and captures how strongly I feel about this topic.  But I wasn't sure if I really wanted a swear word in my blog title.  Still, I had to get it in here somewhere.  :)