Open windows, silver linings, lemonade & rolling with the changes

a cloud with a silver lining 

"Reverend Mother always says when the Lord closes a door, somewhere he opens a window."
"Every cloud has a silver lining."
"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
"Keep on rollin', keep on rollin', oh you got to learn to roll with the changes."

What do a quote from The Sound of Music (variations of which are attributed to Alexander Graham Bell, Helen Keller and King Ethelred the Unready), two somewhat overused idioms, and song lyrics from REO Speedwagon have in common?

Change is constant, and life doesn't always turn out the way we thought or planned; but, if we have a fluid attitude toward change and disappointment, then we can find our way.  I include myself among those who find change and disappointment to be difficult.  But the older I get, the easier it is to roll with the changes.  Perhaps my standards are lower, or my expectations are less lofty.  I'm more used to the idea that things almost never turn out exactly as planned.  My hopes and dreams are heavily intertwined with the lives of the people I love, my family, and are less about me personally.  As my children are growing into young adults at a rapid pace, change is ever present in our family.  On a personal level, in a world of seemingly endless opportunities, some of my choices have been made.  Not entirely, but to some extent, my decisions along the way have created my life circumstances.  Whether I am content about my choices or regret them is immaterial, certain doors have been closed while many windows remain open.  

By nature, I'm not an optimist.  I'm a bit of a dreamer, though, with a side of melancholy for good measure.  Despite that, I do have this optimistic attitude that everything I have done or experienced (good and bad) helps me learn and grow and makes me who I am.  It's a more measured version of "what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger."  For example, various jobs I've had over the years helped me realize that certain types of work or work environments were not a good fit for me.  Another example - negative experiences with certain people or personalities have taught me about relationships and what kind of person I want to be.  To be very clear, however, I'm no Pollyanna.  I don't believe that every bad situation has some good or positive aspect to it.  War, genocide, abuse, starvation - no silver linings there.  But there are many situations in which we can indeed make lemonade from lemons.

I had been looking for a part-time job for several months with little success.  During the fall and winter months, I applied for several jobs.  I had very high hopes with two of them, for which I thought I was very well qualified.  The first job was working from home and involved transcribing meetings from audio files.  After applying, I was contacted to do an online test.  I completed the test and felt quite confident.  I could follow the audio, I'm a quick typist, and I have good grammar and writing skills.  I felt pretty deflated when I found out that I did not pass the test and wouldn't be considered for the job.  A few weeks later, I applied for another job for which I thought I was well-suited because it required both education and library experience.  I have an extensive variety of experience in both of those settings.  I went through an extremely detailed and bureaucratic application process, and then I didn't hear back for two months.  And although I didn't take any actual test this time, I received a response in April that my rank for the job was "10," but that only the top five candidates would be considered.  Again, I felt a bit deflated and started thinking that I might not be as qualified as I think I am.

So, those doors closed.  And a window did open.  Not for a while, but it did open.  I had to see it first, which is why I like this version of the quote attributed to Alexander Graham Bell:  

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.

It's not all about fate.  We have to do our part too.  We have to see the open doors or windows and the silver linings.  We have to be willing to make lemonade and roll with the changes.  So when I saw this other job opportunity, I didn't consider it at first.  But then I took a second look and applied for it.  From the interview, I found out that it was a wonderful opportunity and a great match.  I was hired.  It's a much better fit than the jobs I didn't get.  The work is more interesting, varied and dynamic; and, it's for a program that has a mission to serve others.  That's the silver lining. 

Sometimes the silver linings develop over time.  My husband and I sometimes joke about living in a duplex down by the river.  It's true - we live in a duplex, and it's near the river.  Our joke comes from aligning our situation with the classic Saturday Night Live skits featuring motivational speaker Matt Foley, played hilariously by Chris Farley.  If you were watching SNL in the mid-1990s, you know what I'm talking about.  If you don't know, I highly recommend that you watch some of the skits here.  The character's trademark line was that his audience didn't want to end up like him, "35 years old, thrice divorced, and living in a van down by the river!"  We're more than a decade past 35 years old, we're still married, and we are living in a duplex rather than a van down by the river.  Our joke is that this house was to be our "starter house," and yet here we are almost twenty years later.  Things didn't work out the way we thought they would when we were newly-married home buyers.  But that's okay.  It's more than okay - it's great.  Our home, our neighborhood, our little place in the city have become somewhat beloved by us all.  Staying here has meant that we've been able to make other choices that have blessed our family immensely.  Silver linings.

Some situations are just plain bad or difficult.  But sometimes we find our way through changes and disappointments.  So, when you can, look for the silver linings and open windows, make lemonade, and roll with the changes.  Wishing you all the best as you embrace your own journey!