Wednesday, March 4, 2015

The things they leave behind

Reminders to Mom
or the things they leave behind (or leave on, leave off, leave up, leave open...)

Nothing says, "We need a new box of Honeynut Cheerios, Mom," like putting the empty box back in the cabinet.  I have, in fact, collected a whole list of these little reminders or "helps" that have been enacted by my children and even sometimes (I suspect) by my husband.  Many of them deal with food.  Like, who returned the ginormous, ice-cream-bucket-size storage container to the refrigerator with just ONE teeny-tiny grape left rolling around in it?  Really?  Or what about the empty container of cream cheese?  There's a new container right there in the fridge, so clearly it's okay to go ahead and put the completely-empty-one in the recycling bin. 

And then there's this:  leaving the cat puke in the middle of the hall all day long while I was gone at meetings or running errands.  Thanks, everyone, but I'm not buying it.  Since our cats puke somewhat regularly, I don't really believe you left it there because you were concerned that you'd forget to tell me about possibly sick kitties.  Nope. 

I have heard at least one of my offspring excuse a light left on in an unoccupied room as, "But, Mom, I thought you were going to BE in that room."  Well, perhaps I was going to be in that room eventually.  Like maybe in two hours or tomorrow!  But you can turn the light off until then.  As far as leaving the cap off of the toothpaste tube or the top from the shampoo bottle or that sort of thing, well those transgressions are not quite as bad.  But please try not to permanently "misplace" the cap or top.  Of course, it almost goes without saying that a used-up roll of toilet paper will not be replaced.  And as it happens...I might just not hear you, dear ones, when you're the one who ends up sitting on the seat calling out desperately for a fresh roll.  I am getting older, and sometimes my hearing goes in and out a bit.  What can I say? 


As for the toilet seat itself, that age-old battleground of wills in many a household, we would need a statistics person to calculate the costs and benefits of leaving it up or putting it down.  I mean, there's the whole gender component of the calculation, with 2/5 of our household being female and 3/5 being male.  And then there's the issue of having to compute how many "number ones" and "number twos" people of various genders are having on a daily basis.  No, I'm not interested in doing the math.  Let's just put the seat down, please.  And if you do - then maybe my hearing will improve, and I'll bring you that new roll of toilet paper when you need it so desperately!    

*****

P.S.  I may have exaggerated just a tiny bit...